Meaning of Braille, by Regina Spektor

I was just thinking the other day how much I've loved Regina Spektor for quite some time now. Not only is her voice stunning and her style unique, but her lyrics are always...always...something I enjoy analyzing. Here's one of my favorites!

She was lying on the floor and counting stretch marks
She hadn't been a virgin, and he hadn't been a god
So she named the baby Elvis
to make up for the royalty he lacked

And from then on it was turpentine and patches
From then on it was cold Campbell's from the can and
They were just two jerks playing with matches
'Cause that's all they knew how to play---play.

And it was raining cats and dogs outside of her window
And she knew they'd be destined to become sacred roadkill on the way
And she was listening to the sound of heaven shaking
thinking about puddles, puddles and mistakes

'Cause it's been turpentine and patches
It's been cold, cold Campbell's from the can
And they were just two jerks playing with matches
'Cause that's all they knew how to play
What they knew how to play

Elvis never could carry a tune
and she thought about this irony as she stared back at the moon
She was tracing her years with her fingers on her skin saying,
Well, why don't I begin again
with turpentine and patches
with cold, cold Campbell's from the can
After all I'm still a jerk playing with matches
It's just that he's not around to play along
yeah, I'm still an asshole playing with candles
Blowing out wishes, blowing out dreams
Just sitting here and trying to decipher what's written in Braille upon my skin
all this skin...

She was lying on the floor and counting stretch...
She was lying on the floor and counting stretch...
She was lying on the floor lying, lying...
counting stretch....

Upon first hearing this song, you pretty much immediately realize the speaker has gotten pregnant (in the first sentence, she mentions “stretch marks” and points out that she is no Virgin Mary). After a closer read, you can also realize she became a young mother. The biggest clue here is her metaphor linking sex to “playing with matches.” Playing with matches is an act that people equate with risky behavior (like having unprotected sex…or even simply having sex when you’re too young to handle the consequences).

Regina’s lyrics, as always, are extremely beautiful and poetic, and she leaves clues throughout the entire song that this mother is concerned with age. Thus, the song becomes a bit of a warning about the consequences to being a young (perhaps teenage) mother. After all, the lyrics are consistently hung up on the speaker’s age; she repeatedly speaks of “counting stretch marks,” which evokes a parallel image of counting a tree’s rings. She also says she is “blowing out wishes,” which draws an image of a birthday cake, and she finally admits she is “tracing her years.”

Because she mentions “blowing out dreams,” the song finally becomes explicit in its idea that having a child when you’re young (and a “jerk”) can ruin your life. This idea that her son has ruined her life really brings meaning and emotion (sadness, regret) to the song.

I also like Regina’s repetition of the word “turpentine,” as turpentine is commonly used as a topical remedy for stretch marks and scars. This one word then allows the listener to equate Elvis’s birth with something that has created not only physical scars for the speaker, but emotional ones. She wishes she could heal those scars, but she’s “still a jerk playing with matches.”

Anyway…I also really like the repetition of the word “lying” at the end of the song. I feel like there’s something there to that word also meaning “telling an untruth,” but I don’t have the energy to really try and figure it out right now. Maybe someone else will think of something?